The relentless suffering of women in DR Congo

‘I lead a miserable life, I long for peace.’ The anguished words of Janqueline reflect the harsh reality faced by women in the Democratic Republic of Congo. In a country where women have historically been treated as second-class citizens and excluded from society, there is still a glimmer of hope: women’s rights are now enshrined in law. The next step is to make equality a reality in everyday life.

Janqueline Kahambu (45) stares blankly ahead, her eyes filled with despair. The grey skies above the Congolese city of Goma mirror her sadness as she sits on a rickety bench in a wooden hut. She is exhausted. Exhausted from the endless cycle of suffering, abuse, and hopelessness that has defined her life. ‘Violence was always present,’ she begins hesitantly. ‘But it became worse when I was 15, shortly after my father and sister passed away. My brothers started drinking heavily and took out their anger on my mother and me.’

A life defined by violence

Two years later, Janqueline’s life took a dramatic turn. One day, a man as old as her father stood at the door, holding a goat and a bag of money. The moment is etched in her memory. ‘As I looked at my mother in confusion, she said, “He has come for you, to marry you. The goat and money are your dowry.”‘ Janqueline remembers panicking completely. ‘I burst into tears. So did my mother, but she had no choice. He paid, so I became his property.’ She was just 17. Thinking back to what she endured as a young girl makes her shiver. ‘From day one, my husband was dominant and aggressive. He beat me without reason and often threatened me with a knife. He terrorized me.’ Her eyes vacant, she reveals that she never consented to intimacy. They had four children. Janqueline was allowed nothing; her husband ensured she was entirely dependent on him. ‘It was like a prison.’

“From day one, my husband was dominant and aggressive. He beat me without reason.”

After sixteen years of living in fear, a friend convinced Janqueline that staying would lead to her death. Janqueline and her children now stay with that same friend, albeit temporarily. Although she managed to escape her husband’s violence, Janqueline faces yet another enormous challenge. Due to the structural oppression of women in DR Congo, Janqueline has absolutely nothing. ‘After my mother passed away, I asked my brothers for my share of the inheritance. I wanted to buy a small plot of land to grow vegetables, so I could provide for myself and my children.’ But according to her brothers, she had no right to it because she is a woman. ‘When I took on a pro bono lawyer, my brothers threatened to kill me. I had to give up the case.’

A deeply rooted issue

Exclusion from inheritance is common for women in DR Congo, explains Gilbert Dhego, our partner in Congo. ‘Unfortunately, Janqueline’s harrowing story is typical for many women in the DRC. The unequal treatment of women is deeply embedded in Congolese culture and customs. For generations, women have been given a secondary role in society; they are excluded from inheritance, and girls under 18 are married off in exchange for a dowry.’

“Unequal treatment of women is deeply embedded in Congolese culture and customs”

Yet the country is making progress in the fight against inequality. Today, Congolese law grants women the right to inherit, and girls are not allowed to marry before the age of 18. There is also a quota to ensure that half of all decision-making positions are held by women. Gilbert notes, ‘The problem is that these laws are hardly enforced. Many people are unaware of them, or they are ignored because old cultural customs are incredibly persistent. We must make sure that this changes, that the law becomes the standard, and society starts viewing women’s roles differently.’

A change in mindset

Together with Gilbert and many others, we support women like Janqueline. ‘Since the right to inheritance is now legally enshrined, women can more easily claim their share. We provide free legal assistance, but often begin with mediation. Most of the men we speak to are unaware of the existence of these laws. Awareness alone often leads to an agreement. Sometimes, legal action is required.’

We are doing everything we can to ensure that young girls in DR Congo grow up in a different world from the one Janqueline knew. ‘Our goal is, of course, to make the law paramount, but that can only happen if people themselves start to view the role of women differently. We work hard on this,’ says Gilbert. This includes collaborating with youth, women’s, and men’s organizations, and through education, village meetings, and training sessions that help people see equality and women’s rights differently. Gilbert adds, ‘We also work extensively with young people. In special workshops, they develop the skills to challenge harmful norms.’ Finally, we are committed to training and empowering female leaders; the goal is for women to become more involved in local, regional, and national decision-making.

Leading by example

The transformative power of these activities is evident in the experiences of Jean-Marie (28) and Antoinette (25), a young couple who came into contact with Gilbert by chance two years ago. ‘Antoinette and I had just started dating,’ says Jean-Marie. ‘I recognized myself in the things Gilbert said about traditional gender roles and became curious.’ His gratitude is evident as he talks about the 16-part training he attended. ‘It changed our lives. In the beginning of our relationship, I didn’t let Antoinette make any decisions. She wasn’t allowed to do anything without my permission. That was just how things were. Now I realize that she has the same rights as I do.’ These new insights have led to significant changes in their daily life. ‘Before, I let Antoinette handle all the household chores because that was women’s work. But now I know that’s not true. So, we decided to share the household responsibilities equally.’

Strengthened by their own transformation and encouraged by Gilbert, Jean-Marie and Antoinette now guide and inspire other couples. By talking with their peers and mediating conflicts, they are helping to raise awareness about equality.

Urgent call to action

The story of Jean-Marie and Antoinette gives hope and shows that change is possible. Change that inspires perseverance, because there are still countless women like Janqueline who have nothing. ‘As a housekeeper, I earn just enough to avoid starvation, but I can’t afford to send my children to school. Our lives could have been different if I hadn’t been forced into marriage and had received my share of my parents’ inheritance.’ Janqueline’s situation underscores the urgent need to tackle gender inequality in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

‘We are seeing the first signs of improvement. The number of inheritance disputes is slowly decreasing. Thanks to our efforts, more and more women are receiving their share of the inheritance, giving them the chance for a better future.’ Gilbert advocates for a long-term approach. ‘The issue of inequality can’t be solved with a single workshop. It requires dedication and perseverance.’ The goal is not only to give equality a legal basis but also to make it a reality in everyday life. ‘With unwavering and collective effort, we can pave the way for a more inclusive and just Congolese society, where no woman will have to suffer like Janqueline.’