In a world marked by division and conflict, finding ways to build understanding and foster empathy is more urgent than ever. At Mensen met een Missie, we use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as one of the powerful tools to address conflicts at the grassroots level. NVC, a method developed by Marshall Rosenberg, helps individuals connect with each other on a deeper level, encouraging empathy and understanding as foundations for peace. In our work across different continents, we train community leaders and partners in this method, who in turn share these transformative practices within their own communities. This article will dive into what NVC is, why it works, and how it is making a real difference in places like Uganda, Ethiopia, and even here in the Netherlands.
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Nonviolent Communication is more than just a way of talking—it is a structured technique that encourages empathy, understanding, and constructive interaction. Developed in the 1960s by Marshall Rosenberg, NVC provides a framework consisting of four key components: observation, feelings, needs, and requests. These components help individuals communicate more effectively by focusing on their own experiences and avoiding blame or judgment. Here is how it works in more detail:
- Observation: The first step in NVC is to observe the situation without adding interpretation or judgment. This means describing what is happening purely in terms of facts.
- Feelings: Next, individuals are encouraged to express their emotions in response to what they have observed. Identifying genuine feelings helps in sharing one’s experience more authentically.
- Needs: After acknowledging emotions, the focus shifts to understanding the underlying needs that are causing those emotions. This step aims to uncover the basic human needs that are and aren’t being met.
- Requests: Finally, the person formulates a request that aims to fulfill these needs in a constructive way. Importantly, requests in NVC are not demands—they should be framed in a way that respects both parties’ autonomy.
Nienke Vierstra is one of our leading trainers in Nonviolent Communication, with extensive experience in applying these methods in challenging environments. Her work, especially in Uganda, has been instrumental in promoting empathy and constructive dialogue among diverse communities. ‘NVC helps you see the other person in their fullness while also understanding yourself better. It gives you tools to either prevent conflicts or resolve them once they arise.’
In our programs, NVC training typically starts with 20 hours of guided sessions, followed by practical application in community settings. Participants are challenged to use real conflicts from their lives as learning material. This way, they gain not just theoretical knowledge but also practical skills to address conflicts in their families and communities. NVC does not promise quick fixes, but it provides a powerful, sustainable shift in how people relate to each other, turning adversaries into allies.
NVC in action: Uganda and beyond
NVC has had an enormous impact is Uganda, a country with a history marked by internal conflict and trauma. For many people there, violence has become the default response to disputes. When Nienke began her work in Uganda, she decided to introduce NVC as an alternative to the prevailing culture of violence. ‘The response was overwhelmingly positive,’ she recalls. ‘People were hungry for an alternative to violence. Some participants even mentioned feeling as if a burden had lifted off them—they finally had permission to care for their own needs as well as those of others.’ The participants not only learned to apply NVC in their daily lives but also started teaching others, helping to spread a culture of empathy and understanding throughout their communities.
In Ethiopia, the transformation of Meseret Tadesse is another powerful example of how NVC can change lives. Meseret grew up in a community where violence was often the first reaction to conflicts. However, in 2022, Meseret attended an NVC training organized by Mensen met een Missie as part of the JISRA project. ‘I learned how to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence,’ she says. This shift did not just change her own perspective but also impacted her community. Now known as the “Ambassador of Peace,” Meseret has become a role model, actively helping to mediate disputes and build bridges between conflicting groups, including a recent intervention between Muslim and Christian students in her school.
Extending NVC to the Netherlands
Our commitment to fostering peaceful dialogue is not limited to countries far away. We are also implementing NVC in our programs here in the Netherlands, such as in our work with MBO Utrecht. By offering training in nonviolent communication, we are helping students and teachers learn how to navigate conflicts in healthier, more productive ways. This local application of NVC aims to foster a culture of mutual respect and understanding in a diverse society that is not immune to polarization.
Why this method works
Nonviolent Communication works because it addresses the core of human relationships: our needs and our ways of expressing them. By emphasizing empathy and understanding, it allows people to connect on a deeper level. It turns communication from a battlefield into a bridge. Whether in Uganda, Ethiopia, or the Netherlands, we see over and over again that people long for connection, and NVC provides the skills to make that connection happen. As Nienke Vierstra puts it, ‘It doesn’t matter at what level you introduce NVC; it works because it speaks to something fundamentally human. Everyone has the capacity to understand and empathize when given the right tools.’
The power of dialogue
At Mensen met een Missie, we believe that dialogue is a critical tool for transforming societies. Nonviolent Communication is one of the core techniques in our approach to fostering understanding and empathy. By equipping individuals with the skills to communicate more effectively and compassionately, we help build communities that can resolve conflicts without resorting to violence. The impact of NVC speaks for itself, we see how effective dialogue can change lives. This shows that with the right tools, a peaceful and empathetic society is possible.
