When Maria Antonia Mamani Callisaya (37) from Bolivia marries Christian, she has no idea that she will end up living in captivity with her in-laws, nor that her husband will end up beating her. She also never imagined that one day, she would be helping other victims of domestic violence.

‘Living with my in-laws was horrible. They controlled everything I did, and I wasn’t allowed to see my own parents anymore.’ Maria was so terrified of her husband’s family that she would hold in her need to use the bathroom until everyone was out of the house. Christian’s mother, in particular, exerted manipulative pressure on her. ‘And Christian would justify it because, after all, she was his mother.’ The first time Christian hit Maria was a turning point for her. ‘I realized then that I had married the wrong man.’

Asking for permission

As a young girl, Maria moved with her family from a small village to a neighborhood on the outskirts of the large city of El Alto. There, the motivated student made it as far as studying dental technology. But her marriage to Christian meant she was forced to drop out just before graduating. ‘We had been dating for six years when we got married. I didn’t feel the need to marry; we were happy. But he insisted.’ After the wedding, the couple moved in with Christian’s parents against Maria’s wishes. And that’s when the nightmare began. ‘I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. They said I had to ask my husband for permission for everything.’

Beaten unconscious

After Christian first hit Maria, all she wanted was to leave the house. But Christian begged her to stay. Hesitantly, she forgave him, on the condition that it would never happen again. ‘Not long after, he came home drunk and started yelling at me—I was three months pregnant at the time. Without answering him, I started packing my bag. That’s when he began hitting me. He didn’t stop until I passed out.’ Afterward, Christian claimed it was Maria’s fault that he hit her; she hadn’t obeyed him. ‘I could kill you because you are my wife, and I have the right to do it,’ he threatened.

Escaped at night

The worsening situation with her in-laws led Maria to escape from the house in the middle of the night. Desperate for help, she found refuge at the Women’s Development Center. This foundation has been advocating for equal rights for men and women since 1983. Coordinator Beatric Condori explains, ‘We started a process for Maria due to the violence, abandonment of a pregnant woman, recognition of the child, and family support.’ Maria found safety at her parents’ house, but Christian continued his abuse in court, doing everything he could to sabotage the proceedings. Maria recalls, ‘On one hand, I felt strong: I knew I had made the right decision. But it also broke my heart.’

I could kill you because you are my wife. I have the right to do it. – Christian to Maria

Maria is not the only one seeking help at the women’s center. Each year, about 700 victims of violence come to the center, along with 2,500 requests for assistance. Beatriz explains, ‘It’s often not just about the violence itself, but also the consequences that follow. Think of divorce, family support, and legal procedures.’ Legal proceedings are a major hurdle for victims of domestic violence. Maria describes, ‘The court treats you like you are just an object. First, you’re attacked by your loved one, and then you’re mistreated by officials. And government agencies don’t want to help you either. There I was, sitting with all these other women, waiting for hours without getting any answers.’ According to Maria, this makes the situation for victims even worse. ‘The government leaves you stranded while you’re in total panic.’ It was then that Maria decided she wanted to help other women as a community worker at the women’s center.

Support for other women

To become a community worker, Maria attended several workshops, including ones on basic rights, legal procedures, empowerment, self-worth, family relationships, and a workshop on sexual and reproductive rights. Beatriz recalls, ‘When Maria first came to us, she was young and fearful. She barely spoke and was very emotional, unable to stand up for herself. Now, she is completely different.’ Since 2007, Maria has supported many other women who have experienced the same things she did. She has also completed her studies and now works as a dental technician. ‘Daring to ask for help was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Otherwise, I might not be here today.’

In Bolivia, a woman is murdered every three days simply because she is a woman. This is called femicide.